Scott and I were in the small exam room waiting to meet with our oncologist before my first chemo treatment. There were waiting room chairs and the patient exam bed but I couldn’t sit. I paced. Back and forth in that tiny room.  My tears wouldn’t stop. I tried to look at a magazine but my heart was just so sad. This is not what I wanted to be doing on this Monday. I wanted to go to work and talk to my students. I wanted to go to a meeting and take notes and try to contribute something meaningful. I wanted to fold clothes. Anything but sit in a chemo room with 20 cancer patients and receive toxic medicine into my body. But there I was. Out of control. At the mercy of the doctor and the nurses. 

Then the doctor came into that little room. She gave us the reports from my recent scans and tests. She answered our multitude of questions. 

And then she said,”This is hard. But we see miracles here all of the time. This is where the physical and the spiritual meet. You will see God’s mercies and grace all around you. Don’t miss this time. Move into the journey. Slow down and ask the big questions. Take this time to notice God’s gifts to you.”

That is what my oncologist told me on the day of my first treatment. Move into the journey. God’s mercies will be all around you.

Beautiful words. 

Praise God for Dr. Wilder.