Ask the Big Questions
What is important to me?
Why am I here?
What is my purpose?
What are my highest priorities?
What do I really believe is true?
What do I want my life to be about?
Some of these answers will be particularly in focus during this time. I found that life was so intense that some of these questions were relatively easy to answer.
What is my purpose? This answer became really clear when I realized that my life might be much shorter than I had hoped. This was really hard to accept until I asked myself what my purpose on this earth really was. I knew that it was not to eek out as many days as I possibly could. My purpose, whether I live to be 101 or 51, my purpose and goal is to bring honor and glory to God. He is the one who numbers my days. He is the one who determines my steps and goes before me. My whole duty is to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God. (Micah 6:8)
When this answer crystallized, it made my days more meaningful and even easier. It was easier to move forward when I was confident that I was living aligned with my ultimate goal. My goal, my purpose does not rely on the number of days that I live but rather on my faithfulness to God each day. My goal is dependent on my faithfulness to God today. …to be found faithful. That is my ultimate and highest purpose in this life. I want to be found faithful to God.
I can be faithful in a chemo chair. I can be faithful on a surgery bed. I can be faithful speaking before a crowd of people or working in my office or at home cooking for my family. Cancer cannot take that away from me. God grants me a measure of faith because of his merciful love.
May God find me faithful.